Building Racial Awareness and Enacting Equity
The goal of this page is to create a resource for clients who are seeking to better understand how they can practice anti-racism.
Here are a few definitions of terms I'll use throughout this page:
white supremacy: the belief, theory, and doctrine that white people are inherently superior to other racial groups, particularly those who are Black, and are therefore rightfully the dominant group in any society. Traditionally, this term has been used to identify very specific groups who practice obviously, racially motivated hate crimes. A broadening of this doctrine helps us to understand the systemic ways racial superiority has been used throughout world history. To understand a white supremacist hierarchy is to understand that all forms of hate, discrimination, and systemic injustice are derived from a notion that white, wealthy (land owning), able-bodied, heterosexual, cis-gendered men are the pinnacle of superiority from which a hierarchy of identities follow. Sexism, homophobia, able-ism, xenophobia, and many other forms of hate reveal themselves from the false notion of white supremacy.
anti-racism: an active process of identifying and eliminating racism by changing systems, organizations, and institutions so that power is shared and redirected equally. Anti-racism is active and ongoing, NOT an identity (it is an action, not a statement), and deliberate and consistent. (definition provided by Monique Melton)
Challenging our distress around race based inequity is necessary to create change. We are all worthy of knowing more, making mistakes, and doing better.
If you are currently distressed about the movement towards racial equity, you may be experiencing the deep emotional distress created when we feel invisible or misunderstood. Turning toward this distress, processing thoughts and feelings with appropriate others (such as a therapist), and ultimately changing our reactions to fear, perceived rejection, and defensiveness heals the chasms within us and builds a bridge to empathize and connect with others, regardless of shared experience.
This is a practice of vulnerability, responding to our internal distress with compassion, and getting comfortable with imperfection.
This Will Take Time
Much like other practices I encourage clients to begin, engaging in anti-racism generally starts with learning. For many of us this is actually a re-learning, meaning you will begin to uncover what our history books and teachers left out and you will need to seek out the stories of Black and Indigenous peoples. Stories which have not been shared widely and continue to be silenced. Unlike other learning, the work of learning a history of racism in America will be an emotional experience. Emotional reflection will be essential. Deep emotional introspection will be key to understanding how white people contribute to, maintain, and exacerbate systemic oppression. It will be impossible to not be triggered emotionally when doing this work. This is not an intellectual or personal growth endeavor- this learning and growth are to be used to dismantle white supremacy. Anti-racism is a practice which requires time, patience, emotional reflection, and perseverance. Please be aware that while white people can choose to abandon anti-racism work, People of Color do not have an option to ignore, deny, or take a break from racism.
In addition, anti-racism is not a political movement or opinion. Systemic racism transcends political party, democracy, and is imbedded in every corner of our American culture. Mistaking this well documented, researched, and synthesized phenomenon for personal beliefs works against the dismantling of white supremacy and the common goal of diverse unity.
In an effort to provide a jumping off point, here is a growing collection of resources.
White Identity Development:
For individuals who identify as White, a place to begin is to identify your current stage within your White Identity Development. By identifying your stage, you can engage with the active thoughts and feelings you experience, identify the origin of these thoughts, and grow in our development.
Identify your stage and accompanying resources here.
An exhaustive website of tools, readings, videos, and resources which support growing into Anti- Racism. There are tools for both adults and children. This resource was compiled by Nicole A. Cooke. Many of these authors, scholars, and activists are helping to fill the gaps in a very white washed history of America.
Here are a few definitions of terms I'll use throughout this page:
white supremacy: the belief, theory, and doctrine that white people are inherently superior to other racial groups, particularly those who are Black, and are therefore rightfully the dominant group in any society. Traditionally, this term has been used to identify very specific groups who practice obviously, racially motivated hate crimes. A broadening of this doctrine helps us to understand the systemic ways racial superiority has been used throughout world history. To understand a white supremacist hierarchy is to understand that all forms of hate, discrimination, and systemic injustice are derived from a notion that white, wealthy (land owning), able-bodied, heterosexual, cis-gendered men are the pinnacle of superiority from which a hierarchy of identities follow. Sexism, homophobia, able-ism, xenophobia, and many other forms of hate reveal themselves from the false notion of white supremacy.
anti-racism: an active process of identifying and eliminating racism by changing systems, organizations, and institutions so that power is shared and redirected equally. Anti-racism is active and ongoing, NOT an identity (it is an action, not a statement), and deliberate and consistent. (definition provided by Monique Melton)
Challenging our distress around race based inequity is necessary to create change. We are all worthy of knowing more, making mistakes, and doing better.
If you are currently distressed about the movement towards racial equity, you may be experiencing the deep emotional distress created when we feel invisible or misunderstood. Turning toward this distress, processing thoughts and feelings with appropriate others (such as a therapist), and ultimately changing our reactions to fear, perceived rejection, and defensiveness heals the chasms within us and builds a bridge to empathize and connect with others, regardless of shared experience.
This is a practice of vulnerability, responding to our internal distress with compassion, and getting comfortable with imperfection.
This Will Take Time
Much like other practices I encourage clients to begin, engaging in anti-racism generally starts with learning. For many of us this is actually a re-learning, meaning you will begin to uncover what our history books and teachers left out and you will need to seek out the stories of Black and Indigenous peoples. Stories which have not been shared widely and continue to be silenced. Unlike other learning, the work of learning a history of racism in America will be an emotional experience. Emotional reflection will be essential. Deep emotional introspection will be key to understanding how white people contribute to, maintain, and exacerbate systemic oppression. It will be impossible to not be triggered emotionally when doing this work. This is not an intellectual or personal growth endeavor- this learning and growth are to be used to dismantle white supremacy. Anti-racism is a practice which requires time, patience, emotional reflection, and perseverance. Please be aware that while white people can choose to abandon anti-racism work, People of Color do not have an option to ignore, deny, or take a break from racism.
In addition, anti-racism is not a political movement or opinion. Systemic racism transcends political party, democracy, and is imbedded in every corner of our American culture. Mistaking this well documented, researched, and synthesized phenomenon for personal beliefs works against the dismantling of white supremacy and the common goal of diverse unity.
In an effort to provide a jumping off point, here is a growing collection of resources.
White Identity Development:
For individuals who identify as White, a place to begin is to identify your current stage within your White Identity Development. By identifying your stage, you can engage with the active thoughts and feelings you experience, identify the origin of these thoughts, and grow in our development.
Identify your stage and accompanying resources here.
An exhaustive website of tools, readings, videos, and resources which support growing into Anti- Racism. There are tools for both adults and children. This resource was compiled by Nicole A. Cooke. Many of these authors, scholars, and activists are helping to fill the gaps in a very white washed history of America.
You may recognize this chart from the COVID-19 Resource Page. This chart was adapted by Andrew M. Ibrahim MD, MSc from “Who Do I Want to Be During COVID-19” chart (original author unknown).
Looking to support children in learning about racism? (It Won't Hurt Them, I promise)
This is uncomfortable AND necessary work. Don't allow the discomfort you feel about racism to write a story that talking to children about racism is harmful. Children are resilient, smart, and adept at integrating information. Children are confused when world events go unexplained by parents. This confusion leads to misunderstanding, "color blindness", and perpetuating white supremacy.
Here is a helpful graphic to distinguish Inclusive Parenting from Anti-Racist Parenting.
Looking to support children in learning about racism? (It Won't Hurt Them, I promise)
This is uncomfortable AND necessary work. Don't allow the discomfort you feel about racism to write a story that talking to children about racism is harmful. Children are resilient, smart, and adept at integrating information. Children are confused when world events go unexplained by parents. This confusion leads to misunderstanding, "color blindness", and perpetuating white supremacy.
Here is a helpful graphic to distinguish Inclusive Parenting from Anti-Racist Parenting.
While both styles are necessary, Anti-Racist parenting is moving towards a growth mindset (see becoming anti-racist info graphic above), as well as acknowledging for children of all ages that racism exists and in order to stop racism, we must acknowledge it openly.
Anti-racism parenting encourages children to believe others when they share their experience of racism. This is an essential step in not approaching racism as an intellectual endeavor, but an understanding of humanity. Racism is a part of our human experiences. Approaching others humanity with skepticism can be dangerous and counter productive. Debating humanity is de-humanizing. Debating how to end structural racism, police brutality, and who to vote for are possible.
Another approach to understanding the necessity for Anti-Racist parenting is to examine how emotionally sensitive parents respond to their children's distress. For instance, if your child told you they had been sexually abused or assaulted, were identifying with a different gender, they were bullied at school, or were experiencing any kind of emotional or physical distress, a supportive, caring response would be to first listen, believe, and respond with care, love, and connection. From there, parents would begin the process of reporting, seeking consultation, collaborating, and ultimately taking accountability for their child's distress. By acknowledging the existence of white supremacy, we help children acknowledge, dismantle, and protect others when our humanity is threatened.
As survivors of trauma are well aware, sharing our story is vulnerable, risky, and sometimes outright dangerous. There is nothing to be gained by sharing an experience which is met with skepticism, shouted down by others, or leads to blaming victims. Help your child undo these myths of truth telling by truly making it safe for them to share their experiences, free from punishment, shame, or blame. Above all we can model for children that vulnerability is not weakness but strength; courage to share their truth with adults whose primary objective is to believe them.
Turns out, adults sharing their distress isn't any different. We all want to be heard, believed, and supported. The more we have processed our own internal experiences, the better we are at accepting others experiences as true and moving toward a place of creating change.
But what about accountability? That's a great question. Blame, anger, and resentment lead to a lack of accountability for others. Engaging in compassionate curiosity around other's stories and emotional experience is simply the first step. Accountability comes next, if necessary. When someone shares their story and you validate their feelings, an appropriate consequence is often easier to identify. This applies to experiences of racial discrimination as well as parenting. Here is an excellent podcast episode detailing this very concept from Dr. Brene Brown.
The site listed above has many resources both video and reading to guide you in talking about racism with children.
Curious about where to begin with anti-racism? Monique Melton is an anti-racist educator, author, and speaker who has several programs aimed at guiding you through the process of unlearning white supremacy and engaging in the ongoing work of anti-racism.
Anti-racism parenting encourages children to believe others when they share their experience of racism. This is an essential step in not approaching racism as an intellectual endeavor, but an understanding of humanity. Racism is a part of our human experiences. Approaching others humanity with skepticism can be dangerous and counter productive. Debating humanity is de-humanizing. Debating how to end structural racism, police brutality, and who to vote for are possible.
Another approach to understanding the necessity for Anti-Racist parenting is to examine how emotionally sensitive parents respond to their children's distress. For instance, if your child told you they had been sexually abused or assaulted, were identifying with a different gender, they were bullied at school, or were experiencing any kind of emotional or physical distress, a supportive, caring response would be to first listen, believe, and respond with care, love, and connection. From there, parents would begin the process of reporting, seeking consultation, collaborating, and ultimately taking accountability for their child's distress. By acknowledging the existence of white supremacy, we help children acknowledge, dismantle, and protect others when our humanity is threatened.
As survivors of trauma are well aware, sharing our story is vulnerable, risky, and sometimes outright dangerous. There is nothing to be gained by sharing an experience which is met with skepticism, shouted down by others, or leads to blaming victims. Help your child undo these myths of truth telling by truly making it safe for them to share their experiences, free from punishment, shame, or blame. Above all we can model for children that vulnerability is not weakness but strength; courage to share their truth with adults whose primary objective is to believe them.
Turns out, adults sharing their distress isn't any different. We all want to be heard, believed, and supported. The more we have processed our own internal experiences, the better we are at accepting others experiences as true and moving toward a place of creating change.
But what about accountability? That's a great question. Blame, anger, and resentment lead to a lack of accountability for others. Engaging in compassionate curiosity around other's stories and emotional experience is simply the first step. Accountability comes next, if necessary. When someone shares their story and you validate their feelings, an appropriate consequence is often easier to identify. This applies to experiences of racial discrimination as well as parenting. Here is an excellent podcast episode detailing this very concept from Dr. Brene Brown.
The site listed above has many resources both video and reading to guide you in talking about racism with children.
Curious about where to begin with anti-racism? Monique Melton is an anti-racist educator, author, and speaker who has several programs aimed at guiding you through the process of unlearning white supremacy and engaging in the ongoing work of anti-racism.